I really just want to nap and cuddle with someone, but I have so much homework to do and no one to cuddle with.
God witnessing a human drinking cow's milk for the first time
- god: why are you approaching that cow
- god: what are you doing
- god: no
- god: what
- god: are you seriously going to do that
- god: oh fuck, he's doing it
- god: he's actually doing it
- god: this is fucked up
- god: I've fucked up
if i were a caterpillar i would probably emerge from my cocoon as another slightly fatter caterpillar
My twitter is fucking blowing up right now cus I said Fireworks tour manager/merch dude was cute as fuck. Jesus christ.
— Beau Taplin, "Hell exists." (via 5weetsorrow)